mccain makes historic first visit to the internet

Last month, McCain admitted that when it comes to computers, “I am an illiterate that has to rely on my wife for all of the assistance that I can get.” But he’s making progress. Last week, he told the New York Times that, “I am learning to get online myself, and I will have that down fairly soon, getting on myself.” (“Getting on myself”?)

It’s hard for McCain to keep up with Obama these days. Obama already has the slogan, “Change We Can Believe In” and McCain’s “Hey Kids, Get Off My Lawn” just isn’t catching on. McCain has decided he needs to break into the new cycle with his own historic first:

Breaking News
McCain Makes Historic First Visit to Internet
Will Spend Five Days at Key Sites

In a daring bid to wrench attention from his Democratic rival in the 2008 presidential race, Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) today embarked on an historic first-ever visit to the Internet.

Given that the Arizona Republican had never logged onto the Internet before, advisors acknowledged that his first visit to the World Wide Web was fraught with risk.

But with his Democratic rival Barack Obama making headlines with his tour of the Middle East and Europe, the McCain campaign felt that they needed to "come up with something equally bold for John to do," according to one advisor.

McCain aides said that the senator's journey to the Internet will span five days and will take him to such far-flung sites as Amazon.com, eBay and Facebook.

With a press retinue watching, Sen. McCain logged onto the Internet at 9:00 AM Sunday, paying his first-ever visit ever to Mapquest.com.

"I can't get this [expletive] thing to work," Sen. McCain said as he struggled with his computer's mouse, causing his wife Cindy to prompt him to add that he was "just kidding."

Having pronounced his visit to Mapquest a success, Sen. McCain continued his tour by visiting Weather.com and Yahoo! Answers, where he inquired as to the difference between Sunnis and Shiites.

Sen. McCain said that he had embarked on his visit to the Internet to allay any fears that he is too out-of-touch to be president, adding that he plans to take additional steps to demonstrate that he is comfortable with today's technology: "In the days and weeks ahead, you will be seeing me rock out with my new Walkman."

Even before Barack Obama began his trip to the Middle East and Europe, the media was already speculating about the possibility of a gaffe. Obama's travel "carries political risk," the New York Times reported, "particularly if Mr. Obama makes a mistake."

But the only foreign policy error made by a presidential candidate in the last few days came yesterday morning on ABC's Good Morning America, when John McCain made ANOTHER geography gaffe while trying to criticize Obama's visit to Iraq.

Asked by Diane Sawyer whether the "the situation in Afghanistan in precarious and urgent," McCain responded: "I think it's serious. . . . It's a serious situation, but there's a lot of things we need to do. We have a lot of work to do and I'm afraid it's a very hard struggle, particularly given the situation on the Iraq/Pakistan border."

But as ABC's Rick Klein noted: "Iraq and Pakistan do not share a border. Afghanistan and Pakistan do."

McCain probably ought to “get on himself” and do “a Google” (as McCain calls it). Or two. Or three.
Just last week, McCain repeatedly referred to Czechoslovakia, a country that hasn't existed since 1993.

And, of course, there was his confusion of “Shiites” and “Sunnis” in Iraq. Not just once. But at least twice. If fact, it seems to be a more general confusion on the subject.

But, hey, McCain has all that “experience” and stuff.

Just don’t play on his lawn.

(click on image to enlarge)

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